Some days I wonder why I ever took this job. I used to be an engineer. You know — headphones on, solving hard problems, in flow for hours. These days, as CTO of a mid-stage Silicon Valley startup, my calendar looks like a Tetris game of meetings, and the last time I spent a whole afternoon writing code… well, let’s just say I had more hair back then.
Let me paint you a picture. We’re a team of about 80 now — 25 engineers, 5 product managers, a couple of designers, the usual growing pains. We’ve raised a solid Series B. Revenue’s coming in. The board’s impatient. And suddenly, everyone’s looking at me to “scale the team,” “harden the platform,” “accelerate velocity.”
Here’s what that actually looks like:
- Hiring is a full-time job in itself. Finding good engineers is tough. Finding good startup engineers — people who can thrive in chaos, move fast without breaking everything, and tolerate the occasional 2 a.m. PagerDuty alert — is nearly impossible. We interview like crazy, make offers… and then watch as Big Tech swoops in with comp packages we can’t match.
- Tech debt? We have a mountain of it. When you’re sprinting to ship version 1, then version 2, and close your next funding round, clean code isn’t the priority. Now, every engineering all-hands starts with the same slide: “Debt cleanup: Q3 focus.” I’m not sure we’ve had a quarter without that slide.
- The psychological load is real. Half my week is spent coaching burned-out engineers, de-escalating inter-team friction, and convincing product managers that no, we can’t build five new features this sprint. Startups are emotional rollercoasters. The code is the easy part.
But — and this is why I’m still here — every once in a while, you see something magical. A prototype comes together and wows a customer. An engineer solves a problem that stumped everyone for weeks. A big client signs a multi-year deal. Those little moments remind me why I chose this life over a comfy job at Google.
Do I miss the days when I could just code? Absolutely. But building a company — watching it grow, helping people level up, seeing an idea become real — is a different kind of thrill. Messy. Stressful. But worth it.
Now, if only I could find time to refactor that old API module…